Bill Wattenburg’s Glossary

Bill uses some interesting and colorful words occasionally, but look up their definitions in the dictionary and you’ll see he’s right on the mark. This is an attempt to detail some of the more common phrases he uses.

This is the real definition that Bill means when he uses the word: “Spurious; not genuine; false; sham; inferior; adulterate; as, a bastard hope; bastard honors.”
Brooklyn-educated environmentalist
Anyone who thinks he or she can tell the whole rest of the country to do in the name of environmentalism, but who has not actually spent time living in nature, and who thus doesn’t actually have a clue as to how mother nature actually works, and what the natural state of affairs is.
According to Webster’s, “The hole or orifice in the side or end of a cask, barrel, or keg, by means of which it is filled or emptied, sometimes shortened to bung.”
The term used for HMO health insurance companies’ fixed payment per patient per month to a primary care physician, instead of paying a specified amount for specific procedures. According to Dr. Wattenburg, a typical capitation payment is $11/month, with which the doctor must pay for all of his time, tests, and procedures performed. Webster’s defines capitation as “a tax or fee upon head of each person”.
head up your pants leg
Anyone care to provide a suitable definition?
Really creative people and scientists use that to describe malcontents who sit on thier lazy asses and chatter that something is wrong with any thing that other productive people are doing, particularly during emergencies. I-Rhoid (or I-Rhoid) stands for “Intellectual Hemorrhoid” —that well-fed piece of usless tissue that invariably pops out of the rear of productive society at the most troublesome times when you can’t stop long enough to cut it off without interrupting the important task at hand. So you are obliged to tolerate it for a while.
paper hat
As in “you’re wearing a paper hat”. Take a large piece of paper (the larger the better), roll it up into a cone and tape it together so it doesn’t unroll, and then place it on your head. If you still don’t get it, go sit in the corner just like your teacher used to make you.
yellow-striped, hen-house fraud
This is one whose origin I’m not familiar with.
A person who either knowingly or unknowingly advocates an environmental position that either does nothing of significance in benefiting the environment or that actually causes more harm than good. Sometimes caused by a combination of idealism and ignorance, but more often the result of greed or a hidden agenda and full knowledge of the harm being caused.
sleepy-eyed technician
Someone responsible for operating a piece of equipment designed to detect non-compliance with PC environmentalism who doesn’t have a clue what he or she is measuring, or very likely how the instrument actually operates, and what procedures might result in invalid data collection.

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