Bill Wattenburg’s Glossary
Bill uses some interesting and colorful words occasionally, but look up their
definitions in the dictionary and you’ll see he’s right on the mark. This is an attempt to
detail some of the more common phrases he uses.
- bastard
- This is the real definition that Bill means when he uses the word: “Spurious; not
genuine; false; sham; inferior; adulterate; as, a bastard hope; bastard
honors.”
- Brooklyn-educated environmentalist
- Anyone who thinks he or she can tell the whole rest of the country to do in the name of
environmentalism, but who has not actually spent time living in nature, and who thus
doesn’t actually have a clue as to how mother nature actually works, and what the natural
state of affairs is.
- bunghole
- According to Webster’s, “The hole or orifice in the side or end of a cask,
barrel, or keg, by means of which it is filled or emptied, sometimes shortened to bung.”
- capitation
- The term used for HMO health insurance companies’ fixed payment per patient per month to
a primary care physician, instead of paying a specified amount for specific procedures.
According to Dr. Wattenburg, a typical capitation payment is $11/month, with which the
doctor must pay for all of his time, tests, and procedures performed. Webster’s
defines capitation as “a tax or fee upon head of each person”.
- head up your pants leg
- Anyone care to provide a suitable definition?
- I-Rhoid
- Really creative people and scientists use that to describe malcontents who sit on thier
lazy asses and chatter that something is wrong with any thing that other productive people
are doing, particularly during emergencies. I-Rhoid (or I-Rhoid) stands for “Intellectual
Hemorrhoid” —that well-fed piece of usless tissue that invariably pops out of the rear of
productive society at the most troublesome times when you can’t stop long enough to cut it off without
interrupting the important task at hand. So you are obliged to tolerate it for a while.
- paper hat
- As in “you’re wearing a paper hat”. Take a large piece of paper (the larger
the better), roll it up into a cone and tape it together so it doesn’t unroll, and then
place it on your head. If you still don’t get it, go sit in the corner just like your
teacher used to make you.
- yellow-striped, hen-house fraud
- This is one whose origin I’m not familiar with.
- eco-fraud
- A person who either knowingly or unknowingly advocates an environmental position that
either does nothing of significance in benefiting the environment or that actually causes
more harm than good. Sometimes caused by a combination of idealism and ignorance, but more
often the result of greed or a hidden agenda and full knowledge of the harm being caused.
- sleepy-eyed technician
- Someone responsible for operating a piece of equipment designed to detect non-compliance
with PC environmentalism who doesn’t have a clue what he or she is measuring, or very
likely how the instrument actually operates, and what procedures might result in invalid
data collection.
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